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Transfiguration of Vincent
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Muswell Hillbillies
Kinks
Christmas in the Heart
Bob Dylan
Glitter and Doom Live
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Let It Roll: The Best of George Harrison
George Harrison
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Songs Around the World
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Bob Dylan
I’m breaking a personal rule of mine with this review. I swore that I would never review anything before listening to it completely, with near-full attention – for at least two passes. The very existence of this disk scares such fear into me that I feel that I could never commit to two full listens without developing an intractable opinion, and I admit that my anticipation borders much more closely to fear than holiday cheer. This is Bob Dylan…. (pause required)… Old. Cranky. “Legendary.” Impossibly inscrutable…(another pause required)… Bob Dylan. He’s been with us – ALL of us – for over forty years. The guy’s a Jew, fer Crissakes….(most of the time, anyway) and in the middle of a nearly miraculous career rebirth, he offers us a Christmas album?
The first track is “Here Comes Santa Claus.” I haven’t even started to play the CD yet, but if you were me, what would you expect? Do you need to think about it? As I already pointed out, this is Dylan. I haven’t played a single note of this disk yet, but
a) I’m showing an obvious tendency toward prejudgment, and
b) I feel drawn in, like a moth circling a gas lamp.
I can’t help but wonder how relevant it would be if I were to actually ‘expose’ some of the lyrics. Let’s try it:
“ Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Right down Santa Claus lane…”
Wow. (Another pause is DEFINITELY required now…). As I type this, I’m hearing it for the first time, and I’m dumbfounded. This album’s very existence is as improbable as monkeys on the moon. OK, the heck with it. I admit it, I’m suckered in. “How would/could Dylan possibly sing this?”, I ask myself. The answer, I’m feeling, is “Quite well”. Maybe I’m enjoying WAY too much holiday cheer at this exact moment, but Dylan just sang “Winter Wonderland” and I felt like drinking egg nog. He sounds forced as he croaks/sings, “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing,” but as I listen, I wonder if his interpretation may have value for breaking down religious barriers. Our culture has thoroughly analyzed every syllable that Bob has ever uttered, right? Maybe non-Christians will finally be able to “interpret” Christmas songs and apply totally new meanings to them. Or, maybe that’s crazy. This album is simply too weird for me to predict how any individual person might react.
In terms of quantity, it’s generous, with fifteen tracks. One of them is “Little Drummer Boy”. Another is “Must Be Santa (!!), ” but there’s authentic stuff here, too, like “Adeste Fidelis” and “The First Noel.”
The packaging conveys the dichotomy as well as anything possibly could. The cover shot is pure Currier and Ives, but inside is a shot that looks like vintage pin-up girl Betty Page. The music walks the same crooked path. It teases me with flashes of relevance, but then succumbs to stereotypes that border on the psychopathic. “The Christmas Blues” is easy to appreciate. “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” on the other hand, definitely is not. Once again, for the 50th time, we can’t tell if Dylan is toying with us, or if he’s simply following some extravagant muse. No Matter.
Fifty years from now, my kids will try to capture the spirit of Christmas for their own grandkids. Doing so, they will be armed with Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra, Phil Spector….and perhaps Bob Dylan. Christmas albums come and Christmas albums go. Despite everything we throw at it, I believe that the spirit of Christmas will nevertheless survive. As Bob sings, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”
Rated = A, B or C.. WE CAN'T FIGURE OUT IF THIS IS A REAL EFFORT OR IF HE IS TOYING WITH US!
 
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