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Toby Keith
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Diana Ross
…or “Diana Ross sings karaoke for Valentine’s Day”. Never in my life have I ever heard an album as insipid, unimaginative or emotionally stilted as this. The song selection is literally painful; “More Today Than Yesterday” is a lame dumbing down of the Spiral Starecase hit, and her version of “Remember” is an insult to the memory of Harry Nilsson. Even worse is the emphasis on wretched, predictable ‘80s love songs, such as “Take My Breath Away” (otherwise known as the theme from “Top Gun”…) and “You Are So Beautiful.” As sung by the original artists Heatwave, “Always and Forever” is a beautiful R&B ballad, but Ross mauls it into something crass - almost vulgar. However, if the challenge was to completely destroy any semblance of credibility, then that task is ably achieved with the complete dismantling of classic fifties ballads. “Only You” (the Platters), “To Be Loved” (Jackie Wilson) and “This Magic Moment” (The Drifters) are literally abused into submission, and rendered into recycled hash.
The production alone is so intensely bad that it is mind-boggling. You’d think that a star of Ross’ caliber would opt for a real string section instead of sappy keyboard samples, but there is nothing real about this horrendous collection. Erase Diana Ross’ vocal track, and you end up with an exact replica of a karaoke record…and is there anything less authentic in this world than an imitation of karaoke? This is so bad that it makes Rod Stewart’s recent forays into ‘classics’ seem almost palatable by comparison. I can’t even bring myself to continue, it’s just that bad.
Grade: 
 
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