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Toby Keith
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Scandal
You can stop holding your breath now. Finally, the band Scandal (featuring Patty Smyth…no, no, no, not Patti Smith) has been compiled as part of a greatest hits packaging concept entitled “We Are the ‘80s.” I may be wrong, but I’m thinking that there are about four people in the universe who could give a damn about Scandal any longer, which means that I’m writing a review that nobody will ever read. Why do I torture myself like this? VH-1 has bought into the concept that there is a market for forgotten video-based artists, and so they are trying to sell un-sellable music via this “We Are the ‘80s” series…I can hardly wait for the Blotto compilation….
“Goodbye to You” starts off the set, and to my ears, it sounds like a generic, dated demo recording, with a slightly better than average lead vocal…and it doesn’t get any better than this… Uh-oh… I have to watch what I write these days. If there are promo people for this CD – which I doubt – they could excerpt my comment for their own purposes….for example, -
“It doesn’t get any better than this.” - T. Ryan, American Hit Network
I don’t want that, do I? I think the best tack is to be completely direct, straightforward and honest about it, so here I go;
“This CD sucks ass.” – T. Ryan, American Hit Network
Okay, maybe that isn’t funny, but how much can anyone say about a band like Scandal without resorting to treacle? Every song suffers from ‘80s production bombast and ‘self-conscious songwriter’ syndrome. I can’t believe that anyone ever considered this production style to be desirable…oh, wait. Nobody did. It sucked in ’85, too. Every single note sounds like it was derived from a ‘how to be a rock star’ primer. Maybe the best bits are in the liner notes? Here is how they begin; “Admit it…the volume on your radio goes up to 10 the minute you hear “Goodbye to You” over the airwaves…” That may be true, but it’s only because I accidentally turn the volume knob while desperately scrambling for the station tuner!
Look, it isn’t like they are – or were - the worst band in the world or anything. It’s just that they aren’t - or weren’t – very good. I wish they were worse, so I could laugh out loud, but it isn’t even entertaining on that level. So it doesn’t matter because nobody will ever read this anyway, but I take back what I said; they don’t suck ass. I simply do not care if I ever hear them again.
Grade: 
 
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