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Toys in the Attic
Never in the history of rock and roll has there been a band whose reputation has so far outstripped its ability to deliver. Considering that they have enjoyed a thirty-plus year run, the quality (and consistency) of their output has been abysmal. As far as I’m concerned, I could count Aerosmith’s best material on my digits while wearing mittens and never taking my socks off, and yet half of the free world treats this band as if they are America’s answer to the Rolling Stones. History has proven that it is more appropriate to label them as America’s answer to Status Quo, but still their reputation precedes them, and they sell millions. Why? The answer lies with this album. Toys in the Attic is the record that initially promised greatness. It never arrived, but there are enough clues here to recognize the lost potential. In a nutshell, it contains just about everything that I care to know about Aerosmith.
Virtually every other Aerosmith album contains more padding than an overstuffed chair. Even their ‘Greatest Hits’ album is relatively weak, since it is watered down with less compelling tracks from lesser albums, not to mention a reprehensible cover of the Beatles’ “Come Together.” Even this album has its dull moments, but it also has its fair share of high points – inarguably the highest (figuratively speaking) that they ever got. The title song, “Walk This Way,” and “Sweet Emotion” is as good as Aerosmith gets, with flailing guitars, entrancing arrangements and attitude to spare. “Uncle Salty” and “No More No More” also rock hard, in that classic-rock sort of way that Aerosmith is best known for. Granted, “Big Ten Inch” makes me want to gag (if you get my drift), but the balance of the record represents an Aerosmith that ceased to exist almost immediately after Toys in the Attic was released. If you want to spend your hard-earned cash buying up Aerosmith’s catalog of fair-to-middling rock and roll albums, be my guest. Meanwhile, I’ll satisfy myself with the four or five good tracks on Toys in the Attic, smug in the knowledge that it never really got any better than this.
Grade: 
 
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