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Neil Diamond
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Toby Keith
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Mariah Carey
My youngest brother, who has a pretty strange sense of humor, bought me this CD for my birthday; I wonder how he knew I didn’t own it already? I don’t even know where to begin with this one. What can you say about somebody who poses for an album cover in rainbow-painted panties while licking a heart-shaped lolli-pop? And the foldout poster of her reclining on pink satin sheets with said lolli-pop is downright laughable. Does she expect anyone to take her seriously? After her first album, I thought Carey had a remarkable talent that needed some fine-tuning, particularly in regard to her penchant for singing cliches. Instead of getting better, though, she has turned her career into a self-debasing fantasy of baby-doll mannerisms coupled with relentlessly monotonous song choices. Rappers like Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, Missy Elliott and Usher are brought in to add spice, but they only drown in the sticky-sweet syrup of gunk that she chooses to sing. She may have a lot of #1 hits, but who can tell any of them apart? Rainbow is only Carey’s latest entry in a career that has lowered the quality standard for divas everywhere.
Grade: 
 
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